My birthday, and the Hong Kong guy gave me a card. This is what it said:
“Sixty six days ago you were on the other side of the planet.
Fifty one days ago we met.
Forty three days ago our eyes locked.
Thirty five days ago our souls collided. You can’t know how happy this makes me. And now we are celebrating your birthday! Sheng ri kuai le!”
Then he gave me a robot that goes around on your floor sweeping and cleaning stuff up and gently bumping into things and correcting itself. “This will help you with all your cleaning,” he said. Four days later I broke up with him.
“Was it the card?” he asked.
“No. Yes. I don’t know,” I said. “Do you want the robot back?”
Later we met for a beer, the last time I would see him. He ordered this huge meal and I sat through a long thing about his bike and then he talked for a while about designing “the Ferrari of lids.”
I will always love that phrase.